Monday 18 February 2013
Friday 15 February 2013
How to avoid Divorce
Relationship of marriage is very fragile and shaitan takes up every opportunity to destroy it and as soon as he destroys it, this is what happens - corruption in muslim community, men are not guarding their eyes anymore, scandals are spreading etc., etc., All the great tragedies that happen in muslim community are the result of bad marriages and all this starts from husbands not taking care of their wife and wife not taking care of their husbands.
Below are few ways to reconcile a broken relationship: -
Understanding and taking care of each other.
Both sides have to understand they have to take care of the other side instead of keeping any expectation form other side just make a goal to take care of other side.
For sisters It is very important thing to understand that when husband goes to the office or travels in a train women who are horribly dressed are sitting and smiling and when then they go to the office the secretary smiles at them and asks how are you how was your day u know what I got for lunch and then they go every day on streets and see women smiling and then when they get home you open the door! and go on....... Why are you late... where were you? The train was late. Oh! every day the train is late? And there is a frown every day. First day it’s ok one month its ok but after one or two years of this what’s going to happen? husband has resentment toward his wife even if he doesn't say anything he is building resentment inside and the simple solution of Prophet SAW is a smile of a wife when husband comes home you know how big this is it’s not a small thing it stabs husband when he comes home and wife doesn’t care. He is very disturbed by that. He may not say anything but it really hurts husband and this comes out in weird ways and sometimes it comes out on dinner table. Oh not enough salt! They are extra angry over kids, they are frustrated but the same scenario when wife opens the door and greets the husband with a smile which is not so expensive, what happens rest of the night goes smoothly husband is in a good mood he is talking to her I m not going to talk now I got a headache not going to happen all started from where just little one act of wife. This is simple solution but a very powerful solution if you don't take care of such solutions thing go adding up and worsens the relationship.
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Brothers have to understand this about their obligation and forget about their rights. Ask questions to themselves like what can I do for my wife what more can I do for her can I buy her gift haven’t given her for long time if she makes a mistake pretend she didn't even make it instead of bringing it up show patience. Go out of your way to do your part even if you get harsh comment respond to them with smile. You can never defeat women in an argument because they have the power of speech physiological effective speech so you have to learn to deal with them the other way.
Avoid Arguments
Another piece of advice in terms of harmonies between husband and wife is that your argumentation men seem to think everything can be solved by reasoning and logical evidences and they forget that Allah have not created them in simple black& white fashion. Women are complicated when you get married many of you will testify your wife is crying u ask her why are you crying she says I don’t know! The best way to make argument with your wife which is Sunnah of prophet saw is 1 mercy 2nd silence You know how effective silence is? if the husband is silent she will say what is the matter is there something I did but if the husbands talks back and she will talk back way better than you can she will come back with better rebound then u ever thought but if you are silent and if have ounce of goodness in here she will come back and even I think it’s not my fault but I’ll say sorry but the husband has to learn this technique of silence and not silence with a frown and pushing her away just a little extra sad puppy face try it with your mom to see if it work and it will work with your wife as well Inshallah.
Keeping our expections low.
Always remember! Believer expects from lord because beside Allah everyone will disappoint your expectation.
Giving Space
A very important factor in marriage which enhances love between a couple is, giving each other space as an individual, though two people are united in marriage it must not be forgotten that both are individuals too, and one should not constantly demand the attention of the other round the clock 24/7
Sister have to understand this Allah has created man and women. Very differently for men their biggest weakness is women. Men could be richer poor healthy not very healthy skinny fat or tall doesn't matter what culture or what language all of the men have same weakness that is “women” and in many cases women are oblivious to this weakness of man and they don’t understand why can't men lower they gaze its simple u have eyes I have eyes retina process the same information so what’s the problem? they don’t understand the power of this desire Allah has put inside the man and no1 fitna Prophet fears for men this ummah is women because it’s a serious problem so if the wife understands this that instead of condemning them "why you so weak?" how come you can't control your eyes, she should be patient and try alternate solutions.
We need to have confidence in our deen. The Muslim marriages today those that have problems is only because husbands are not like Prophet SAW and the guidance of Quran and Sunnah that helps us to bring out the beauty and success of Islamic marriage are not followed and ignored in our homes.
May allah bless us and guide us in our lives. Amen.
Monday 11 February 2013
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